A wine interview with Albert Einstein.  Who knew that he was such an advent wine drinker?

For sometime now, I have tried to get wine interviews with some of my favorite musician, movie stars and other celebrities about their wine habits.  I have found it very difficult to get past their fan clubs and PR firms to just get a basic questionnaire filled out.  So I have diverted to plan B.  I found it to be so much easier to hone in on my psychic abilities and interview those celebrities that have passed away.  It seems as though they are more willing to sit through the interview.  Most dead celebrities do not want to lose touch with their fans.  They are so desperate that they are willing to answer the questions of a lowly wine blogger in San Diego.

Since my dad has Mexican Huichol Indian blood, I felt as though I have a natural psychic ability.  So I searched deep inside, called upon my spirit animal, sought out my spirit place and took on my shaman name, Momo.  I finally found my psychic ability.  Ironically, my spirit animal was actually an insect, phylloxera and my place of power was my very own wine room.  Now that I am connected, my acidity balanced, my heart full-bodied and my spirit well-structured I bring to you my wine interviews with dead celebrities.

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A Wine Interview with Albert Einstein

Momo: Hello Mr. Einstein, what a pleasure and an honor it is to speak with one of the greatest minds of the 20th Century.

Albert Einstein:  Vy thank you, its vin a very nice to a meetchu too.  Ive alwvies vanted to speaka about da vine.

Sorry to interrupt here, but I see that we are going to have a little problem with translation, Albert’s English is not all

that understandable.  I will now try to transcribe it for you.

Momo:  I am a little nervous, I really don’t know where to begin.  Tell me, what were some

life changing events in your life?

Albert Einstein:  Three events changed my life.  First, when I was 5 I saw a compass and marveled at how it moved by itself.  Second, when I was 12 I was fascinated by a book of geometry.  Third, when I left Munich I dropped out of school and evaded the draft and ended up in Switzerland where I had my first glass of Chasselas wine.

Momo:  Compass, Geometry and Chasselas?  Why Chasselas?

Albert Einstein:  I guess it could have been any grape, but Chasselas was my first intoxication, and led me to discover the process of Embden–Meyerhof–Parnas pathway.

Momo:  Which is what?

Albert Einstein:   It is the metabolic pathway that converts glucose C₆H₁₂O₆, into pyruvate, CH₃COCOO⁻ + H⁺.  The free energy released is used to create high-energy compounds ATP and NADH.

Momo:  Whoa, Albert. Slow down! Remember you are talking to people who read blogs because books take too long.  Can you put it in lay man terms?

Albert Einstein:  Sorry, I’ll explain.  After that run in with Chasselas and the Swiss bar maiden, I was absolutely enthralled by what made me feel so happy, easy-going and gave me the forte to engage in relations with such a beauty.  I realized it was alcohol, and this led me to study fermentation and the way glucose turns into alcohol.

Momo:  So you became a wine lover because of the scientific process behind wine making?

Albert Einstein:  That too.

Momo:  Did you collect wine?

Albert Einstein:  Why yes, I did!  I built the perfect wine cellar in my home in Zurich.  I kept the average of Kinetic Energy of the molecules at around 58 degrees.  I also tried to keep the amount of water and the thermal energy of evaporation at a 65%.  I was also able to test my theories of Thermodynamics in that space.  I made sure the room absorbed photons, under the principle of conservation of Energy, it could not be created nor destroyed so I kept the area dark and free of heat.

Momo:  In other words, you cellared your wine at 58 degrees kept humidity at 65% and allowed little light?  You sure over complicate things.  So what have been some of your favorite wines besides Chassales.

Albert Einstein:  Yes Momo, the cellar was the first place I was able to put my theory of Relativity into action.  It was all about light refraction and energy.  When my wife divorced me, I decide to drown my sorrows in Riesling.  I had much Riesling in my cellar.  I was a fan of Süssreserve, these wines were an absolute delight for the ladies.  The wine’s monosaccharides when fermented, allowed for fructose to remain developing sweet flavors.  However different from other grapes, the Riesling was balanced with tartaric acid and potassium hydrogen tartrate and very little volatile acidity.  I later gave up Riesling in 1932 when I fled Europe because of Nazi evilness.

Momo:  Let me get this straight. You liked Riesling because it had residual sugar and high acidity?  I am running out of psychic bandwidth.  I have one last question, what do you think you would drink today if you were alive?

Albert Einstein:  Before I died, I was living in New Jersey working on many theories.  I began to combine my theories of relativity, light, quantum physics and time travel into one theory, the unified field theory.  I came upon that one day when I had a bottle made of a field blend made with Zinfandel, Alicante Bouschet, Durif, Grand Noir and Roussanne from the an area of California known as the Sierra Foothills.  It dawned on me that all my earlier theories were all a blend of one…the unified field theory.

Momo: Amazing!  Thank you for reaching out to me.  This wine interview was pretty heavy, but so enlightening to see from one of the greatest minds of our time how wine influenced you.  This was exhausting, I feel as though after connecting with you for so long I am turning into you.  Thank you for your time, Auf Wiedersehen.

For sometime now, I have tried to get wine interviews with some of my favorite musician, movie stars and other celebrities about their wine habits.  I have found it very difficult to get past their fan clubs and PR firms to just get a basic questionnaire filled out.  So I have diverted to plan B.  I found it to be so much easier to hone in on my psychic abilities and interview those celebrities that have passed away.  It seems as though they are more willing to sit through the interview.  Most dead celebrities do not want to lose touch with their fans.  They are so desperate that they are willing to answer the questions of a lowly wine blogger in San Diego.

Since my dad has Mexican Huichol Indian blood, I felt as though I have a natural psychic ability.  So I searched deep inside, called upon my spirit animal, sought out my spirit place and took on my shaman name, Momo.  I finally found my psychic ability.  Ironically, my spirit animal was actually an insect, phylloxera and my place of power was my very own wine room.  Now that I am connected, my acidity balanced, my heart full-bodied and my spirit well-structured I bring to you my wine interviews with dead celebrities.

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A wine interview with Tupac Shukar

Momo:  Hello Tupac Shakur and thank you for joining me.  I really had a hard time channeling you in. I was not sure if you were in heaven or hell.  Nice to see that you made it to the pearly gates.

2Pac:  After conning Lucifer and hustling “Da Man” I was able to get right in.  I was surprised to see my favorite author,  Iceberg Slim here along with my boy, MJ.  In fact, MJ is the one that said I should speak with you.

Momo:  Most people don’t know, but you were a wine lover.

2Pac:  Most people don’t know, but I was a straight up lover!  I got “California Love”, lady-love and wine love.

Momo: When did you first start to drink wine?  What were you drinking?

2Pac: I was a wine drinker ever since I could remember.  “When thugz cry” they pour out 40oz, I was pouring out Burgundy.  I got introduced to Burgundy while in performing arts school back in New York.  Back then I used to say, “did you ever stop to think that I’m old enough to go to war but I aint old enough to drink.”

Momo:  Wow, Burgundy?! You mean to tell me that Tupac Shakur is a Beaune thug?  I would never have expected that.

Andre Mack’s first hat design.

2Pac:  Most people don’t know but “Strictly for my N.I.G.G.A.Z actually stood for my favorite Burgundy producers…Noellat, Imbleval, Grivot, Gros, Arlaud & Zuliani.  I guess you can say I was a straight-up Beaune Thug.

Momo:  I would never have guessed.  What was it about Burgundy that you liked so much?  Was it that the wines were elegant?  Did you like the tart red fruit and vibrant acidity?

2Pac:  No, not really.  I was always an outsider in da hood.  I came from New York and ended up in Cali making records.  I was not from Cali, I was not from the hood in New York. I was always searching for a sense of place.  Burgundy is the only region in the world that really has a sense of place.  There is no greater hood than Burgundy.

Momo:  You always seem to be night and day, Yin and Yang.  One minute you are singing songs like “Dear Mama” and then your singing “All eyes on me”.  Were you  the same with your wine choices?

2pac:  Nah man, being famous was hard.  I had to be soft with da ladies and hard with da boyz.  Wine was always so special to me.  I just liked what I liked…Burgundy.  Most people don’t know, but the only reason I chose to do my first film was because it was called “Juice”.

Momo:  AHH, that makes so much sense. But why all the hoopla and violence?  From what I hear you really weren’t gangsta.  Why didn’t you just stick to making music and drinking wine?

2Pac:  Good question, the real reason was wine.  Most white people “don’t know, don’t show, or don’t care about what’s going on in the hood”.  The feuds that are created go way back.  And git dis, they are a result of wine.  Every liquor store has wine.  Every corner liquor store has its’ own posses that hang in front.  They are all proud of da wine inside. “Ain’t no one gonna take my wine” is the basic feud on the streets.  So I had to sing about it.  We gots to git involved!  This is serious shit!

Momo:  Whoah! I never knew. Thanks for joining us, Tupac Shukar.  This has been an eye-opening experience for us all.  Do you have any last words for your fans?

2pac:  “Keep your head up”, there is a lot of wine in heaven.

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If you liked this click below to read about Michael Jackson.

For sometime now, I have tried to get wine interviews with some of my favorite musician, movie stars and other celebrities about their wine habits.  I have found it very difficult to get past their fan clubs and PR firms to just get a basic questionnaire filled out.  So I have diverted to plan B.  I found it to be so much easier to hone in on my psychic abilities and interview those celebrities that have passed away.  It seems as though they are more willing to sit through the interview.  Most dead celebrities do not want to lose touch with their fans.  They are so desperate that they are willing to answer the questions of a lowly wine blogger in San Diego.

Since my dad has Mexican Huichol Indian blood, I felt as though I have a natural psychic ability.  So I searched deep inside, called upon my spirit animal, sought out my spirit place and took on my shaman name, Momo.  I finally found my psychic ability.  Ironically, my spirit animal was actually an insect, phylloxera and my place of power was my very own wine room.  Now that I am connected, my acidity balanced, my heart full-bodied and my spirit well-structured I bring to you my wine interviews with dead celebrities.

________________________________________________________________________

Wine Interviews with Michael Jackson

Momo: Welcome Michael Jackson and thank you for joining me in this wine interview.

Michael:  It is a pleasure, thank  you for calling out to me.  Momo, your rendition of “Blame it on the Boogie” caught my attention and I am so happy to share my wine habits with you and my lovely fans.

Momo:  Most people do not know, but you were a wine aficionado.  Some might say you were a wine drinker “in the closet”.

Michael:  Yes Momo, I loved wine, but I was careful on how much I drank and what pills the doctor had prescribed that day.  I remember my first glass of wine.  I was 5 years old and my father Joe, would carry a suitcase of these jugs wrapped in straw baskets while on tour.  I believe it was Chianti.  When I would feel anxious about going on stage, my father would pour me a glass of wine.

Momo:  Did you enjoy drinking at such a young age?

Michael:  I guess I did.  It sure was better than seeing my father angry.  It could have been “Dangerous” for me and my brothers.

Momo:   As you grew older, did you prefer a style of wine?

Michael:  I did, I was very fond of young wines.  I really enjoyed whites and reds, but what I was most a fan of were Rosés.  I loved Rosés that are young and fruity.  They are not red and they are not white.  I was so impressed that from a dark red grape one could make wine light and taste like a white.  I would sit outside at the Neverland Ranch and watch my family as I sipped on Rosé and ate KFC and enchiladas.

Momo:  Are there any wines that you felt were “BAD”?

Michael:  Oh yes, I remember one day my friend Magic Johnson brought a bottle of Sparkling wine from Australia.  The darn thing was black, sparkling wine is white!  He called it Sparkling Shiraz.  I told him to “Beat it”!  I think he liked it because it had a lot of “Jam”.

Momo:  So it does matter if the wine is “Black or White”?

Michael:  Well not really.  It’s just that the bubbles and dark ruby color got me all confused.  It had a sweet taste.  It really was not a “Thriller”.  We shouldn’t discriminate on color.  I love wine and I wish I could have turned more people on to it while I was alive.  One thing I will always cherish is when Paul McCartney said to me while drinking a bottle of Wrotham Clone Pinot Noir, “Michael don’t be afraid of what people think about your wine choices.  Wine is great among friends. Don’t Stop till you get enough”.

Momo:  Great advice from a great person.  Before my spirit insect crawls away and I start to get too cold in my spirit place, do you have any last words for your fans?

Michael:  I really like a lot of wines.  “We are the world, so let’s make better wines and let’s start living”!  Thank you Momo, it was a pleasure to “Remember the Time” wine I could drink wine.